Cute craft idea for candy/gifts

Sewn Paper Candy/Gift Pouches

I think these are really cute and I'd like to make some out of scrapbook paper. (I have plenty!) If you don't sew, I bet these could be stapled with cute colored staples!

There are times when it is hard and it's just too much for you

Today feels like one of those days. As I sit here I just want to dissolve. To become an invisible person, that nobody can see or hear. I want to hide. I know my sugar has been high today. I have felt very sleepy and irritable, have discomfort in my legs and feet and I just want to cry. I am unable to focus and it bothers me. How long are my friends going to put up with me this way? I feel like I'm fussing at them a lot lately. They don't deserve it. My vision has been horrible. Sometimes I can't even read. I feel like a dysfunctional entity that needs to be sent back for repairs. Out of order.

My type 2 diabetes diagnosis story

Diabetes bitstrips

Gotta love Bitstrips!

My type 2 diabetes diagnosis story

I went to the doctor in Dec of 2011, for a regular visit to get my blood pressure medicine. While I was there I had some labs done and I was told that my blood sugar was high. They didn't do anything at that point and I was told that they would test again at my next appointment. I wasn't concerned because I really had no idea at that point what it meant.

24 January 2012 was the appointment that changed my life. My doctor is a wonderful man, he just doesn't have a great "bedside manner". He was kind of cranky with me and didn't really say a whole lot. Basically I was told that I was diabetic, that I would have to take two medications and to come back next month. And he left the room.

I was feeling very overwhelmed and scared. I remember going out into the hallway and leaning against the wall and starting to cry. The nice ladies that worked there asked me what was wrong and I told them "He thinks I know what to do and I don't know what to do!" I knew I needed a "tester" but didn't know much else. They calmed me down and got me a blood glucose meter, some test strips and some lancets. They showed me how to use the meter and I started to learn about my new way of life.

In honor of National Chocolate Day -How to make Balloon Chocolate Bowls!

Sarah

This is my daughter, Sarah. She just turned twenty years old. She was born with a rare genetic disorder called Infantile Refsum Disease. It's a metabolic thing, a peroxisomal biogenesis disorder if you want big words, LOL. At one time it was called phytanic acid storage disease. She is deafblind and has had a stroke and seizures and is mentally retarded.

To look at her you would never think about her disease. She is so happy and full of laughter and life. I hardly think about it either unless I'm dolling out the medicine or get a rude awakening when she has a seizure or something. We just live our day to day lives and don't worry about the future too much.

Let me get serious for a moment. This is a devastating disease. Most children don't survive to adulthood. In all the years that Sarah has lived with this disease, the prognosis has not changed. Second decade. Sometimes I just stare at those words and wonder about Sarah's future. "IRD is a fatal disease, but some children will survive into their teens and twenties, and possibly even beyond." So some children will survive into their teens and twenties, and possibly even beyond. It has a much bigger impact when you apply it to your child, and your child is in the second decade of life. Or how about this one, "the prognosis for individuals with IRD is poor; death generally occurs in the second decade of life." How can this even apply to my wonderful child?

For years I was a member of an email list for children like Sarah. Initially is was a very small group with about four or five families. (This is a very rare condition.) Over the years as more was known about these disorders we gained more members. As time went by patterns developed. Sad patterns. A family with an infant/toddler would join the list. They would be all excited to meet other families and to find out more information. As time went on the child would start to lose skills, slowly. After a while they would no longer walk or crawl, or talk, or eat. Like a light growing dimmer and dimmer. Then they die. After seeing this heartbreaking scenario play out over and over and knowing what was going to happen to the children, I left the email list. I couldn't bear to watch it anymore.

So now Sarah and I just get on with life and do our thing. Nothing I read about is going to change her life. I could take her to do all kinds of labs and things and find out that it was this branch of that gene that did something or other to cause this, but is that going to make a difference to her? No. We did participate in the studies at the Kennedy Krieger Institute at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, when she was first diagnosed. I gave her the DHA and had blood drawn at regular intervals. I hope that helped in the research that they were doing for kids like Sarah in the future.

My goal for Sarah is that she live a happy life doing things that she enjoys and that she can participate in activities where she can feel successful. It isn't a lot to ask. Is it?

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger?

Oh my. Where to start. This blog is called Sweet & Sassy because I am diabetic and slightly cheeky. Or bold. I'm pretty easy-going most of the time. Just don't fire me up, LOL.

So much is happening in my life right now. I'll be moving soon, out of necessity. I guess I'm OK with it, since I really don't have a choice. It will be a smaller place and I'm hoping it will be cozy and not cramped. I've already started getting rid of things that I don't need or want.

It is so difficult trying to survive when life throws you a curve-ball. My financial situation has drastically changed with no notice. Surprise. I'm scrambling and doing things I never thought I would do just to make it. It's amazing how much you can give up in an instant and what you will make do with simply because you have to. The best thing is that my daughter, Sarah, has no idea of how desperate things are.

I have diabetes type 2, and was diagnosed in January 2012. It's not an easy road. I'm not eating the things that I should. I can't afford the healthy foods I am supposed to eat. I am still testing my blood sugar several times per day and for the most part the numbers are good. Not sure why because I don't have nearly enough fruit and vegetables and protein. Cheap foods make me feel awful. Thankfully Sarah eats at school and has dinner with her aide during the week.

My moods are all over the place. I get frustrated easily and want to give up. I ran out of my celexa and I can tell it's affecting me adversely. I suppose I'll get some next month. On the first of the month it will all come together or will all fall apart. Many bills are due at that time and I don't know if I'll have enough to pay them. We shall see.